SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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