If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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