marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
