I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
