I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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