I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
