i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
