i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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