PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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