So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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