Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
false alarm. still invincible.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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