well you can't waste a boner
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
