I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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