god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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