you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize