I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
