he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Found the puke drawer
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
