I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
