I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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