wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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