Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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