I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
