chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
birth control should be required to get into college
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
