Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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