Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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