I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Drake has all the answers
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
