He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
