No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
