I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
