You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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