I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
