Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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