i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
