East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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