my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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