just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
