Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
