Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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