Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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