wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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