I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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