hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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