Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
