I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
