He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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