How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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