i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
