Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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