So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize