piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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