The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
